Good things about the coronavirus pandemic: things everywhere are much cleaner than they’ve ever been (excluding my personal residence, because kids are home full-time). Our family schedule has freed up (even though we can’t actually go anywhere to do anything). I can get a parking place at the coffee shop WITH EASE every morning (woo-FREAKING-hoo!). There’s so much less traffic on the roads (although…why am I even out of the house???). And thanks to no school and working from home, I played Monopoly with 13-year-old Nadia today, and she said she developed a nine-pack (!! that’s 1.5 times more than a six-pack!) from laughing so hard. Moments like this, where any kid has an enjoyable time with me, much less 13-year-old Nadia, are few and far between. I feel like a selfish ass when I say this, but if it takes a freaking global pandemic and societal shutdown to inspire an hour where my kid LIKES me, then bring on MORE global pandemics and societal shutdowns!
As soon as I typed that, I knew it was wrong. As is sometimes the case in this thing called Parenting and Life, common sense kicks in, and I remember that there’s far more bad than good with this pandemic. There’s the whole economic turmoil as the stock market is on what makes Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride seems like a leisurely, Sunday drive in the counrtyside. People are out of work as businesses shutter. Grocery stores are empty of protein and dairy and bread (NOT talking about TP, nor am I going to talk about the peculiar frozen meat product that went into our dinner tonight that had the texture of tofu and the flavor of burnt hot dog, yet was somehow labelled as “chicken”). Schools are closed (dear God…someone please help me!) and I’m supposed to be home-schooling (math: A bottle of wine costs $11.99. When you buy 6, you get 10 percent off. Calculate the total of 24 bottles, plus sales tax at 6.375 percent). Then, of couse, there’s the fact that America has gone toilet-paper crazy (seriously, I was in a bathroom at the mall this weekend and ALL the stalls were empty of toilet paper, which I think had been STOLEN!). And then there are the quarantined, the sick, and the deceased. Nothing. Good. Here. Nothing to even justify the 13-year-old who laughed so hard she got extra abs.
Personally, 2019 sucked, in epic proportions. My family went through some serious crap, and the days were dark, and many, and long. I kept going through the motions, because that’s what we do when we don’t have the luxury of throwing in the towel, giving up, and retreating to a dark place with a cat, a bottle of vodka, and a fuzzy blanket. For a while, and sometimes still, I thought that I lost my sense of humor. I couldn’t find the humor in things and, as I realized, if you can’t laugh at shit, it’s really hard to get through a day. And if I’m being completely honest, I know I’m not the same as I was. I’m still navigating it all…the boat hasn’t sunk, but the water is still choppy. Sometimes land is in sight, sometimes I can’t see it. I’d been so anxious for a return to “normalcy” (whatever that is) over the last year, and - a month or two ago - thought that’s where things were headed. And then…the pandemic.
A little perspective never hurts. I am healthy(ish), the family is healthy, and we’re likely to emerge from this all unscathed. Though my business is definitely affected, I still have a job and I know that we’re going to have a roof over our heads at the end of this, and everyone is going to have food to eat (although it may be called chicken, but taste like tofu meets hot dog). There’s an excellent chance that I’m not going to run out of toilet paper, in spite of not having overbought, because there’s a million-pack at work, double-ply, and I can make those rolls last a really, really long time, if necessary.
There’s plenty to be scared of every day, but I’m approaching this pandemic, at this point, with a sense of humor because I’ve learned over the years - and this past year more than any other year - that finding the humor in things is one of the best ways to get through things, even when nothing is funny. If the choice is laughter or tears, choose laughter. Or tears from laughing too hard.
